Okay this is my first day of blogging. Let's hope it won't be my last. So here goes. I lived my life I thought for others, such as family, friends etc. But three years ago I got up one morning lived that day the same as I had every day for almost xx amount of years. Yet by 6:00pm that nite I realized I couldn't live, breath or function that same way anymore. So I just snapped and left. I could tell you my life sucked because of someone else or I can put on my big people drawers and take my life medicine the right way and admit it was myself that was in the end of things that stayed that way on my own. What we are comfortable in we sometimes stay in good bad or ugly. Change for alot of people can be the scariest thing that happens to us. Yes those around me had bad actions ways of handling their relationship with me but just how much of that do I need to take in to account was because I thought that was the way it was suppose to be? Because I chose to let them get away with it? Maybe I was scared that if I became the real me the person I really am they wouldn't want me or maybe I was scared they would ?! Maybe the real me has always been afraid of being accepted for just that who I really am. Hiding myself from others also made me hide myself from others in the end damaged who I really was to myself, and that was the biggest injustice I could have done. Not only to a family I walked away from but for not ever letting people who thought they knew me really really know me and so I lost myself. So this blog will try to be true to what I feel, think and experience it may not mean a thing to anyone else but to myself it means alot to me. And if there's one thing I've learned I've learned to be true to myself even now I find that hard. Raised to think of others first needs wants feelings, well I just wasn't taught balance.
Balance at least in my life means everything so lets see how well I done do and preceive.
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